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October 29 2017

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Reposted fromteijakool teijakool viaOhSnap OhSnap




if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:


Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

Reposted fromitslikerufus itslikerufus viakasiastrofa kasiastrofa
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Reposted frompicoviny picoviny viaged ged
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Life Hack 314
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Reposted fromHeadbanger Headbanger viastraycat straycat
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October 22 2017

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Reposted fromzelbekon zelbekon viasmoke11 smoke11
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Reposted fromburger burger viaTabsla Tabsla
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Reposted fromniedobrze niedobrze viamushu mushu
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London’s smallest shop: A shoe salesman with a 1.2 square meter shoe store. 1900

Reposted fromkimik kimik viamushu mushu
Reposted fromzelbekon zelbekon viaAtari Atari
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Buster Keaton, The General (1926)
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Reposted fromoolong oolong viaTabsla Tabsla
extrem pfand sammeln
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There are only two hard things in computer science
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Kids today don’t know the struggle

Reposted frommyry myry viackisback ckisback
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